A Native American Perspective...

Sharing another blogger's wisdom, because it rings true to my heart... enjoy:
http://www.womenofchristianity.com/?p=5325

Meridian Magazine - Eve as a “Help Meet” — What Does That Mean? - Meridian Magazine - LDS, Mormon and Latter-day Saint News and Views

Meridian Magazine - Eve as a “Help Meet” — What Does That Mean? - Meridian Magazine - LDS, Mormon and Latter-day Saint News and Views

http://lds.org/relief-society/daughters-in-my-kingdom/about-the-book?lang=eng

A volume that promises to guide in establishing priorities and practices that can help increase faith amongst other valuable enriching qualities.
My motive is simply to share.

The Power of Eve

I'm still here grappling with the issue of Eve in the garden and the meaning of the story of the origin of mankind. Most of you know how it goes -- Eve is tempted by the snake, partakes of the fruit from the tree of knowledge and then turns and offers it to Adam who could not resist.

The story comes from somewhere. And whether you believe it to be myth or fact, it is the creation story that a third of the world's population has heard and holds in the collective conscious.

What is the story's true meaning? What does it say about women? Should we hang our heads in collective shame? Are we really responsible for the fall of man, today, tomorrow and since the beginning of time? What are we to do about it? Flat out deny it? Or is there some nugget of truth that we should glean from the story while working on one of the Four Agreements and not taking it personally?

Upon further pondering, a universal truth that hit me was the fact that women's power to persuade men is not something to be taken lightly. Because we guard a hidden fruit (i.e. our sex) and men are driven instinctively to pursue it, their judgement can be easily clouded. When we whisper in a man's ear to influence his actions or choices, we are wielding great power and, as Spiderman's Uncle Ben once proclaimed, "with great power comes great responsibility".

Men are to follow the lead that comes to them from the Great Spirit directly. This comes to the gut, the Solar Plexus chakra, through the IGS as Zen DeBrucke calls it. It's a direct line and it works when a man knows how to listen intuitively.

Women are born intuitive. We "see" differently. We feel things deeply and are directly linked to our "gut" through monthly menstruation. Our bodies are linked to the phases of the moon when we are in sync. We are made to be at one with the Universe and ergo G-d/Source. So while we may have great knowledge and wisdom, we sometimes witness our men stumbling around in the darkness.

It is our inclination to step in and save them. Rescue them. Intervene and interfere. We have the fruit of knowledge and we want to them to have it, too.

Unfortunately, no one can "receive" it in that way from anyone else. And especially men, our men, cannot receive the light, the Word, the knowledge from Us. They must discover it on their own.

There is a famous and wonderful scene from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" in which the matriarch is lobbying for her daughter to take a course to become a travel agent. It is a long and winding conversation until at the end, the husband "independently" comes to the conclusion that it would be best for his daughter to take a travel course.

It is a hilarious scene and women all over the world can relate. Of course, the husband is viewed in a somewhat pathetic light. But the situation reinforces another line in the film -- "Men are the head of the family, but women are the neck."

We have to use our power of persuasion prudently. Judiciously. Cautiously. We need to have faith and trust the man in our life to make decisions for the benefit of the family. We have to be willing to travel alongside him, oftentimes down paths that seem unsure and downright wrong.

Not that it isn't sometimes indicated that we whisper a bit of truth into their ears. And sometimes it is absolutley required.

Our motives are what's at issue. Are we controlling due to our fear and lack of faith? Or are we being lead by the Creator to help our men see things from a different perspective. Again, just because we know the answer doesn't mean we are obliged to blurt it out.

We must give them the chance to learn ON THEIR OWN, so they can become men. If not, they are condemned to be boys forever, and we, moms.

Bleck. Who needs that?

Eve...revisited

This story was told by Valerie Hudson Cassler in her address to FAIR.

I wanted to give more attention to the subject brought up by Sherri, the concept of Eve being responsible for man's fall and the implications this has had throughout history regarding her place in society.

The story told below gives another viewpoint of what is typically referred to as "The Fall" and could more aptly be called "The Journey". It describes a 'rebellion' that is the archetype for all family systems in which the children come of age and must separate themselves from the safety and structure of their home and face whatever their path has in store for them. Without this act, no spiritual evolution would occur. Without this knowledge of dark and light, joy and sorrow, peace and war, comfort and distress we could have no appreciation for the paradise that was given to us. We would have remained babies. Without Eve leading the way, we would never know what it is to 'choose' G-d's path.

It is a refreshing viewpoint for me personally having lived all my life with the Judeo-Christian perspective which invites women to bear the burden of guilt for our separation from G-d after being expelled from paradise.

In the end, there is nothing outside of G-d's plan for us. And our limited understanding of G-d's plan is what often creates confusion, inspiring the need to blame, explain, and criticize.

Instead we can all now thank Eve for having the 'ovaries' to do what she felt she had to do, so we could all follow her down the path that inevitably has been designed for our own enlightenment and spiritual evolution.

The Two Trees

by Valerie Hudson Cassler

When it was time for the children to grow up, the Parents made a beautiful garden. In the Garden were Two Trees. One had fruit red as the color of blood. The other had fruit that was as white as the snow.

When the Garden was ready, the Parents put one of their sons there. He was a very valiant son, and they loved him. But it was time for him to become for himself, and make his own choices. It was time for all the children to do this.

If they made good choices, they would become like their Parents, and they could all live together again. If they made bad choices, they would not want to live with their Parents again because they would not be like Them.

Only the children could shut the door to their Home and open the door to their journey. This was the first real choice the children had to make. They had to walk away from their Home and toward a new life, a life that they would make through their choices.

The door was the Red Tree. The Parents told their son that eating the fruit of that tree would shut the door to Home and open the door to a life of real choice. They told him not to eat it, so he would understand that once he chose the journey, Home and Parents would be lost to view.

He did not eat. He stood before the door of the Red Tree, and he knew it was not his destiny to open it. He waited for the Parents to send the one whose destiny it was.

She came. The Parents sent one of their beloved daughters, courageous and true.

She pondered what she knew of her Parents. She pondered her companion. Even an enemy tried to influence her, warping truth in an attempt to gain power over her.

She stood on the threshold between Home and the Great Journey. The Parents had decreed that if none of their daughters consented to the Great Journey, it would not occur. Those who would bear the responsibility of bringing all of the children through the doorway, and risk their life in this task, had the right to make that decision. She weighed it all in her heart and her mind, counted the cost to all of the daughters who would come.

But the vision of her Parents and their happiness was foremost in her mind. If she could be like them, and know what they knew, and love as they loved, the pain and the sorrow would all be worth it.

She took the fruit of the Red Tree, and opened that first door. At Home, all the children shouted for joy that a daughter had consented to the Great Journey, which meant that all would be able to join her . . .

. . . if her companion agreed to join her first. She brought the red fruit to him, and asked him to join her in the journey. He had waited for this moment, waited to be the first soul that a daughter of God brought across the threshold into this life.

He hearkened unto her, and accepted the gift of the red fruit from her. And another great shout of joy emanated from Home—the Great Journey had begun!

The Parents were overjoyed at the courage and the wisdom of their daughter for her choice to open the doorway of the Red Tree, and of the foresight and strength of their son to accept the gift of his companion, their daughter.

The Parents came one last time to see their son and daughter off on their journey. They warned them of how difficult it would be, that real choices mean real happiness, but also real sorrow.

But the Parents also told them where they were going and how they would get there. You see, their destination was the White Tree. The White Tree was also a doorway—the doorway back Home for those who chose what was good and right in their journey.

As with the Red Tree, the White Tree, there was a gift to be given. The white fruit would be the teachings and promises of the way of righteousness, which would lead Home. This time, their son would be the giver of that good gift, and their son would open the second doorway, the doorway Home.

The Parents told their daughter that she had proven herself worthy by her opening of the doorway of the Red Tree, and now their son would prove himself worthy by his opening of the doorway of the White Tree. He would offer her the white fruit, and she should hearken and accept it from him, as he had hearkened and accepted the red fruit from her.

In this way, both would be proven worthy, and he would rule with her as her equal and beloved partner.

They looked at each other, and could not help but smile. The Red Fruit of life and choice and the White Fruit of the way of righteousness . . . each so necessary, each so joyous, each given as a gift to the other by the hand of their own beloved equal companion. They felt a glimpse of the love of their own Parents for each other.

They clasped hands, and together headed off on their journey. Our journey. And the giving and receiving of the gifts of the Red Fruit and the White Fruit, and the opening of the first and second doorways, continue to this day . . .

. . . with you.

To Obey is to Hear

The parting of the Red Sea

o·bey
1. to comply with or follow the commands, restrictions, wishes, or instructions of:


Word Origin & History
late 13c., from O.Fr. obeir, from L. oboedire "obey, pay attention to, give ear," lit. "listen to," from ob "to" + audire "listen, hear" (see audience).


It’s been a while since I’ve written. I stopped believing that I knew anything at all. That the ‘revelations’ I had had were all well and good, but my ability to follow through on what I was preaching seemed all too limited. I figured if I couldn’t live what I believed, I sure as heck shouldn’t be putting it out there in writing to the world at large.

I turned to poetry. I turned inward. I stopped exposing my musings to an anonymous public. All the sudden it seemed too scary and I felt too vulnerable.

The thoughts I was putting down on virtual paper were not popular. They sounded crazy, even to me. Laughably antiquated. They seemed to be falling on deaf ears.

But there was one voice. And she said, “You were right.”  I shared with her how I gave up on the modest dressing -- my husband (who is not my legal husband) thought it was ridiculous, especially in 100 degree weather. I didn’t even try to explain to him. It just dawned on me that whatever revelations I may have about modest dress or any other feminine behavior are secondary to my spouse's will and desire.

And as I write this I am scarfing down an English muffin without tasting it. The bile in my stomach is too overwhelming. I am fresh off a fight with my significant other over something entirely insignificant, stupid even.

This is how it goes.

He tells me to do something.

I do it my way. Differently. Or not at all.

He explodes and sends me to hell.

I drive/march/walk/run off in a huff of righteous anger.

I cool down. I pick up food and head back to camp. He eats...or even better -- we have wild, savage make-up sex (you know the kind) while we pretend like nothing happened.

In the meantime I’ve screamed a thousand obscenities at him in my mind. I’ve killed him even. I’ve left him surely. I’ve found independence, recovered my “real” life, the one I used to have before I became dependent and useless.

I am like the Hebrews longing for Egypt after they’ve already come through the Red Sea.

If you’re unfamiliar with Bible stories, I’ll fill you in. The Hebrews lived 400 years of enslaved tyranny under the Egyptians. It took 10 plagues including the death of every firstborn to convince the Egyptians that maybe it was preferable that the Hebrews go along their merry way and they find some other peons to build their pyramids.

They let them go, regretted it, went after them and had them seemingly cornered with their armies and chariots with the Hebrew’s back up against an impassable sea.

Moses raised his arm and the waters spread.

The Egyptians followed and the seas rolled back into place while they enjoyed their last swim.

It should have been enough.

I don’t know the exact timeframe. And many would say it’s a legend anyway. Regardless, the lesson is as real as my mother.

As the story goes, on their way to the promised land the Hebrews got sick of manna from flippin’ HEAVEN and started to long for leeks and onions by the Nile river.

In other words, they were whining to go back to their lives as slaves.

Understandably, their G-d was P****D.

Well, I have lived under similar tyranny. Enslaved. Oppressed and downtrodden. I have been freed by the Grace of G-d and experienced true miracles first hand.

I have been called to do nothing but obey and follow the one true G-d.

And His representation here on earth is personified by the man in my life.

And all I can do is seethe. Rebel. Rail against his demanding, neurotic nature. The insanity and incoherence of his decisions.

I am free. I am cared for. Every day.

And the smallest things I am asked to do, I cannot do.

I am to follow without question and I do not.
I am to obey without question and I cannot.

My response to challenge, question, analyze, criticize, correct and defy is so strongly imprinted, I feel I am helpless against it.

All I can do is pray for Divine Intervention. And hope that you all -- you who hear, understand and sympathize -- will pray along with me.

To obey is to hear. Nothing more, nothing less. And I don’t know how to listen. Yet.

Did Eve sin?

"Did Eve sin?  "Some Christians condemn Eve for her act, concluding that she and her daughters are somehow flawed by it. Not the Latter-day Saints! Informed by revelation, we celebrate Eve's act and honor her wisdom and courage in the great episode called the Fall."⁴ So we stand across the river, if you will, from other Christian faiths, this is one of the most important—that Eve was not an airhead, she was not a murderess. She was, in fact, wise and courageous, and what she did pleased God."


The above quote was taken from a talk and power point presentation given by Valerie Hudson Cassler




I believe these things with all my heart....
Just some food for thought.

Challah like its HOT!

This is a lazy post, in which I send you to a fabulous post I found randomly which explains step-by-step how to make Challah bread typically eaten each Sabbath and which I plan to make on Friday (or Thursday night...).

Take a peek, enjoy and make your own or at the very least, wish me luck!!

MAKE SOME CHALLAH!!!!!

We are weak and He is strong

We can do it all, but should we?

It is not a secret that women are stronger than men.

We give birth and deal.

They get a cold and spend 3 days in bed.

I had the experience of having major surgery -- twice. I had two ectopic pregnancies and because I live in Mexico in an area where there is not a lot of quality medical care, I ended up with both fallopian tubes removed; something that would never happen in the states or in a larger city down here.

I was a working mother; a mother to my genetic son. A mother to my spouse at the time. A mother to his three children. And main breadwinner.

After both surgeries, I was up and working on the computer in the hallway in my hospital gown with my IV drip because someone had to pay the $3,000 usd I owed the gynecologist for having mutilated me.

The day after that I was making breakfast for everyone and practically back to business as usual.

A week later I was on stage singing in a concert.

We train people how to treat us. I trained everyone around me that I was a Superwoman. So, I had to fulfill that role no matter what. This was the message I received from my mother, who raised four children with no help from my dad working full-time as a nurse and going to school at night.

This was the message I received from the culture around me. Just check out this link if you need reinforcement for what I am saying: I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan...

The image of the optimal 80s woman was in a dark blue tailored suit with a baby perched on one hip and a briefcase clasped in the other hand.

We were told we could and should be able to do it all.

And I bought it -- hook, line and sinker.

I took feminism classes in college which only added to the weight of my responsibilities. I OWED it to the women who came before me -- who FOUGHT for my right to vote, to own property, to work, to choose -- to pursue a career.

And I was mandated to do this FIRST against what science shows is optimal for a woman physically and biology. Mothering was something that was to be put on the back burner and addressed later on -- only AFTER a certain professional level had been achieved.

So, it was take the pill, climb the corporate ladder and leave family for last; almost as an afterthought.

When I married and after almost two YEARS of trying I finally got pregnant, and the moment of truth came in which my belief system -- my socialization -- collided with the realities of the demands of being an 'attached' mother.

Because I also firmly believed that it was my G-d given duty to be the best mother I possibly could. I read all the books -- an entire library full -- when I was pregnant. I interviewed moms who attracted me, whose children seemed to have turned out healthy and sane children.

I discovered Mothering magazine and Dr. Sears and and Sheila Kitzinger.

I wanted to do everything right from home birth to slinging to sleeping with my baby to nursing and all the other natural behaviors that had been part of mothering before modern civilization intervened.

That did not include sticking my newborn in daycare at 6 weeks and going back to work, but rather finding a way to continue to make a living at home so I could be with him. That did not include formula feeding, but rather 'on demand' nursing even though my milk would soak through my tailored suit jackets when a meeting went long. That did not include a Crate and Barrel decorated nursery (which I couldn't afford anyway), but rather a spot next to me in our king size bed. When I think back on how amazing it was to sleep with him and wake up next to him, I get really emotional (he's 10 now ;-) And it did not include a hospital birth with interventions and crisis, in an environment that almost no one chooses to be in of their own volition; NO, I wanted to have my son at home. No drugs. No intervention. And I did.

And that day I was Superwoman.

But today I am obliged to admit that I wish I hadn't carried it past that day. I wish I had been able to choose to focus ONLY on my son and let him and myself be taken care of. I wish I had had a provider. I wish I hadn't had to do it all, which only led to resentments, fighting, me feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, taken advantage of, and ultimately, sick and tired.

We split up, my son's dad and I, when he was a year and a half.

It was doomed from the start, because I didn't know then what I know now.

And it's so simple.

Just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you should.

Just because you can make a better living, doesn't mean you should usurp your husband's position as breadwinner.

1.) If I do "X", am I taking over what should be my husband's responsibility?
2.) If I do "X", am I going to feel resentment, now or in the future?
3.) If I do "X", am I taking away my spouse's personal power as a man?
4.) If I do "X", am I stepping outside my realm of nurturing and caring for my family?

All my life I have been Superwoman. All that changed one year ago when after a separation and a long sickness my business failed and I ended up broke and homeless.

I had been so vehement in my ability to care for myself that when in fact I needed someone to take care of me no one was there.

My drastically altered view of women's roles comes directly from this personal experience.

Let him open the door, for Crissakes. Let him pay the bill and the Bills. Let him support you financially while you create a warm, comforting home, care for the children, wash dishes, do laundry, clean floors, do the gardening, cook great meals, decorate for Christmas or Hannukah (carrying on whatever brand of traditions that are your custom), take kids to the doc, to school, to classes, to field trips, etc, etc. Give him a springboard so he can go out and conquer the world. Let him be your Knight in Shining Armor.

You, Ms. Reader, and I know how strong we are, what we are capable of doing -- even fighting in wars as did the women in Israel. But given the choice -- assuming we are not single mothers, or widowed, or in wartime fighting for our lives and our very existence -- we should choose to let our spouse be the warrior.

The more 'battles' he is allowed to fight, the more he establishes himself in his masculine role. The more powerful he feels, the happier and more content and in love with you and appreciative of you he will be.

And the more you feel cared for and protected and provided for, the happier you will be and as a result, so will your children, who are little emotional sponges that pick up through osmosis every dynamic demonstrated to them in the relationship between ma and pa. Every subtle, subconscious or conscious message.

from Wikipedia...
The Yin/Yang symbol is one of the oldest and best-known life symbols in the world, but few understand its full meaning. It represents one of the most fundamental and profound theories of ancient Taoist philosophy. At its heart are the two poles of existence, which are opposite but complementary. The light, white Yang moving up blends into the dark, black Yin moving down. Yin and Yang are dependent opposing forces that flow in a natural cycle, always seeking balance. Though they are opposing, they are not in opposition to one another. As part of the Tao, they are merely two aspects of a single reality. Each contains the seed of the other, which is why we see a black spot of Yin in the white Yang and vice versa. They do not merely replace each other but actually become each other through the constant flow of the universe.

Maybe that's why long-time married couples seem to be carbon copies of each other. After a lifetime of looking into each other's mirror and seeing their own image, after a while they can't tell if they are seeing the other or themselves.

I hope to get to old age with my current significant other. I will do what it takes to make that happen. And maybe what I don't do will make all the difference.

An Explanation of "Modesty" - An Orthodox Jewish Perspective

Visit Kresel's Corner for this enlightening, short and too-the-point article.

See also: What is the wardrobe

Faith in Him

FAITH

1. Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.
2. Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. See Synonyms at belief, trust.
3. Loyalty to a person or thing; allegiance: keeping faith with one's supporters.
4. often Faith Christianity The theological virtue defined as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God's will.

As I write for this blog, it becomes more and more apparent that the role of women is to embody, cling to and revive qualities that in modern society are not lauded or supported.

As I read this definition of faith, I feel how it can be applied in a relationship and make all the difference between one that lasts and one that crashes.

The man in our life needs our faith in him. When all ‘logical proof or material evidence’ seems to scream that he’s making mistakes or that things are going in the wrong direction or that his wild schemes will lead to no good end, we have the sacred duty to continue to believe in our spouse.

What happens when we lose or choose not to employ “confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness” of our significant other -- well, what’s left? Where do we go from there?

Without faith in our spouse, we are left with a few options and as they play out, they don’t paint a pretty picture.

We can nag. Criticize. Point out all the faults and missteps. Manipulate. Try to get him to see it our way. All typical of the worst stereotypes of passive-aggressive behavior women utilize to move things in the direction they think is correct. Any of these imply we don’t trust him. Don’t believe in him. Don’t value his judgement, his choices, his leadership.

Most of us reading this come from Western society in which we venerate a system called ‘democracy’ in which all members of a society have an equal say in the decisions affecting the group. If we try to apply this system in a family relationship, it will bring about its destruction. I won’t try to extrapolate on a global level, since this is not the focus of this blog, but you can draw your own conclusions. To criticize democracy as a viable system in any context (except the military) is the highest level of blasphemy, but I’ve always been unabashedly sacrilegious. I believe in questioning everything, holding all belief systems to the highest standard of scientific analysis with a basic objective -- to identify if it works or if it does not. Again, working from my extensive personal trial and error and the observations of family, friends and the society around me, our current system of mating and creating families is inherently flawed, and I believe one of the root causes has to do with a lack of faith in the man as unquestioned leader and head of the household.

We are not supposed to question. We are not supposed to doubt. We are not supposed to offer our analysis unless specifically asked. We are to have faith. Unquestioned, unshakeable, blind faith.

Like we do in G-d.

As I write this, I am overwhelmed with how huge a task this is. How unpopular this belief is, even in Judeo-Christian society where the Torah and the Bible both identify men as the dominant leaders of families. Like we do in G-d.

Falls like a ton of bricks.

Yet this is the task we are charged with. To sit on our hands and to glue our lips shut with SuperGlue if necessary. And not be muttering and cursing under our breath. Because whether or not we voice our doubt it can be felt. So we are talking Herculean efforts to short-circuit any thought patterns that even resemble doubt before they take root, before their energy is manifested, before our spouse can get a whiff and feel the wind go straight out of his sails.

As alternatives to faith, after the whining and the manipulation afore mentioned, everything goes downhill from there.

When faith is lost, I and many women I know have grabbed the reins and taken over. We go out, get a job, become the heads of our household, calling the shots, demanding our rights, and demeaning our significant others. They become less. We prove that we are better providers than they. We prove we can do what they can’t. Which ultimately proves that they are worthless. Theat we don’t need them at all.

Next stop, everybody out.

: Separation, Divorce, Custody, Remarriage.

Start process over from the beginning, but with ex spouses and half, whole and step siblings. DC al CODA for you music fans out there.

Seen from this perspective maybe it would be easier to learn to be soldiers. Learn to follow. Learn to say “yes, sir” and keep our mouths shut, not speaking unless spoken to.

It may sound archaic, but once again referring to the example of the army -- a soldier would never question the decisions of his troop leader.

So, put yourself in boot camp.

Try faith. Try believing in that which may AT THE MOMENT have no material evidence. Try putting a sock in it. Try LOYALTY and ALLEGIANCE and all those things you promised at the altar.

The alternative is really not one.

The seed of faith you plant in your spouse will bear the sweetest fruit. This comparison also works well in this case -- you plant a seed and you KNOW if you water it, give it sun, tend to it -- it will GROW. This actually doesn’t require MUCH FAITH AT ALL!!!!

A man who perceives your unquestioned loyalty will ultimately lay the world at your feet. All you have to do is believe.

Hard to Be Humble

from Wikipedia:
Humility (adjectival form: humble) is the quality of being modest, reverential, even politely submissive, and never being arrogant, contemptuous, rude or even self-abasing. Humility, in various interpretations, is widely seen as a virtue in many religious and philosophical traditions, being connected with notions of transcendent unity with the universe or the divine, and of egolessness; by contrast, some schools of thought are sharply critical of humility.

I can hardly read this definition without my stomach churning, my eyes rolling and feeling that squeamish conviction in the center of my chest as the voice inside me says, “you, honey, are sorely lacking in this department.”

So maybe it’s best to humbly step aside and insert here some commentaries I found in my research on the web about the topic.

from the following webpage:
http://www.gospelway.com/christianlife/meekness.php

Wives' Submission to Husbands
1 Peter 3:1-6 - Repeatedly God says wives are to be submissive to their husbands. In the midst of this teaching, he requires women to be adorned with a "meek (gentle - NKJV) and quiet" spirit. Note this instruction is in the middle of the discussion of obedience to husbands. Why?

Why do many modern women deny the concept that man is head of the family? Why are so many women unhappy and rebellious toward the idea of following the will of their husbands?

There are several reasons, including the fact many husbands selfishly misuse their authority and fail to treat their wives with honor and respect (v7). But some wives have trouble obeying when their husbands do not accept their wives' view, even when husbands are respectful. And Peter said wives should obey husbands even when husbands are not obeying God's word (v1).

Why do women struggle with this? Because it is so "humiliating" to have to do what a man says. Woman has her own ideas about what she wants to do. "My ideas are just as good as his." "I've got my pride, you know." Many women are encouraged by modern humanistic psychologists to be "self-assertive" and "stand up for themselves." God says what is needed is a "meek and quiet spirit."

There are other forms of ordained authority we must submit to: children to parents, employees to employers, etc. None of us is free to do just whatever we want. All of us need to learn meekness and humility.

Note we are to submit first to God; we do not obey man when he tells us to disobey God (Acts 5:29). But we still are not doing what we want. We do what God demands first, then what those in authority demand. We do what we want only when allowed to by God and by proper human authorities.

The solution to our stubborn, rebellious attitude toward authority is meekness and humility.


and here's some more about meeknees and humility
http://www.faithwriters.com/article-details.php?id=17009

Let’s consider together the Crowning Quality of a Meek and Quiet Spirit as an adornment of the godly Christian woman. We need to learn what God expects from us regarding proper godly character, attitude and behavior and how to apply these in our daily lives as professing women of God. We also need to learn what God expects from the Christian men in our lives – our husbands/future husbands, our brothers, our fathers, our sons, our sons-in-law, our church leaders – so that we can encourage and support them and even hold them accountable to fulfill their proper godly roles as professing Christian men.

Some Crowning Qualities
By both precept and example, the Scriptures give us many crowning qualities of godly Christian womanhood. Many of these qualities apply to all Christians, not just women; but the woman who crowns herself with them is indeed adorning herself as a true woman of God. Examples of such women whom we can emulate are Sarah, Ruth, Esther, Deborah, Mary the mother of Jesus, etc.

Here’s a semi-exhaustive list of those crowning qualities:

• A devout spirit (devoted to God, obedient to His Word, seeks His face in everything, faithful, puts God first, joyfully submits to His will, etc.)
• Wise
• Virtuous
• Hospitable
• Kind
• Always ready to serve
• Always ready to labor
• Self-sacrificing
• Humble
• Liberal, generous
• Submissive
• Meek and quiet in spirit
• Modest
• Chaste
• Sober
• Industrious
• Diligent
• Strong and courageous
• Trustworthy

The crowning quality of godly Christian womanhood that we will focus on for this series of bible studies is a meek and quiet spirit as it relates to 1) modesty, 2) submission to husbands (future husbands), and 3) the husband’s duty in marriage.

I remember seeing this video almost a year ago:



I was so struck by it; because the woman's attitude was so attractive. She seemed so peaceful and so at one with herself and her significant other. She wasn’t hogging the stage or trying to be the center of attention. She was there to accompany, support and complement what her spouse was doing.

I couldn’t have identified her attitude back then as ‘humility’ or ‘meekness’.

Not in my vocabulary.

Not a quality that was much lauded in my home, since my mom dumped my dad, always knew better than him, always put him down, never supported him, was vocal about the fact that his ideas were crazy and that he was a good-for-nothing that couldn’t support his family.

THAT was my model of male-female relationships.

Now I know that that model is a guarantee for failure.

Now I know that the humility has to come first. When we meekly step out of the way, they (the guys) will blow up larger than life to more than fulfill the task they are blessed with -- providing for and protecting their families.

I have a long way to go before I can ever pretend to personify this trait. And out in the world, you can’t even talk about it. Most of the women I’ve ever associated with in the past, even the women in my own family, would laugh in my face or assume that I had gone mad.

That’s how backwards things are today.

I say, “Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.”

Women and Prayer

I believe one of the strongest roles of women is intercessor. As mentioned in the previous post, by the nature of our gender we have a direct line to the Divine Spirit. We are by nature closer to ‘it’ and can get in touch and keep in touch more easily than our counterparts.

So, we need to pray. Our prayers are powerful. Our prayers can heal, console, comfort -- ourselves and others. Our prayers can lift up our spouses when they feel beaten. Our prayers can guide our children and keep them on the right path. Our prayers can protect our loved ones and keep them from harm. Our prayers can powerfully call upon a legion of angels to guard our door.

Our work is hard, arduous, and never ceases. Sometimes it is mundane. We are often criticized in today’s society because by today’s standards we have settled. We have sacrificed our own growth and development in favor of the advancement of our spouse and children.

We know different.

We know that the role we play cannot be filled by another; not by a schoolteacher, a stepparent, a grandparent, a lover, a cook, a housecleaner, a nanny.

G-d gave us the toughest of all jobs; one that requires wearing an infinite amount of hats; one that demands us to give and give and then give some more. And every obstacle we overcome brings us closer to Him, annihilating our egos, breaking down our pride and all that separates us from Divinity and from our fellow man. By the nature of our role, we are given a daily opportunity to elevate ourselves to a higher spiritual plane -- to incarnate love and model forgiveness and acceptance, sacrifice and service.

Prayer gets us there. Prayer gets us through, bridging one day to the next, tears to joy, fears to courage, longing to fulfillment.

We can pray prayers that have already been written. We can pray prayers that we make up as we go along or prayers that are nothing but praise and adoration and gratefulness for life itself. We can pray in song -- songs written and songs that are sung from our soul. We can pray in dance -- and this one doesn’t get practiced often enough. We can pray in absolute silence by virtue of listening to the sound of His Spirit in us and around us. And we can pray in the tongues of Angels in languages only they understand.

Pray as you open your eyes in the morning. Pray with faith that is unshakeable. I admit to a recent prayer that was a challenge to the Divine Being -- I was angry and I was fed up -- and I let him have it. Jacob fought with G-d and maybe it is the divine right of Jews to be the only ones who can argue with G-d. I did so, and miraculously things moved.

Pray as you wash dishes, do the laundry, sweep the floor, or any other repetitive task.

Pray as you rock your baby to sleep.

Pray even as you make love to your husband, as G-d is there with you.

Pray into an existence a new world, a renewed world, a sustainable world, a world of love and peace.

Together it is possible. One woman, one relationship, one family at a time.

A Jewish Perspective

Read about it here: http://www.jewfaq.org/women.htm

Some excerpts...

Women are closer to G-d's ideal, created with more 'binah'(intuition, understanding, intelligence).

G-d is neither male nor female.

Women and men are separated in the synagogue, because men can't pray if they are looking at a cute tuchus.

Women have held positions of respect in Judaism since biblical times. Miriam is considered one of the liberators of the Children of Israel, along with her brothers Moses and Aaron. One of the Judges (Deborah) was a woman. Seven of the 55 prophets of the Bible were women (they are included in the list of biblical prophets).

Many rabbis over the centuries have been known to consult their wives on matters of Jewish law relating to the woman's role, such as laws of kashrut and women's cycles. The wife of a rabbi is referred to as a rebbetzin, practically a title of her own, which should give some idea of her significance in Jewish life.

Women are discouraged from pursuing higher education or religious pursuits, but this seems to be primarily because women who engage in such pursuits might neglect their primary duties as wives and mothers.

Marital sex is regarded as the woman's right, and not the man's.

There is no question that in traditional Judaism, the primary role of a woman is as wife and mother, keeper of the household. However, Judaism has great respect for the importance of that role and the spiritual influence that the woman has over her family.

Anger bounces

Are we responsible for the happiness of our spouse?

Have you ever had a day when everything you did rubbed your spouse the wrong way; you left something in the driveway after spending a day organizing the garage, you overcooked his favorite steak, his favorite shirt is clean, but not ironed, etc, etc.

A day in which you really are making a special effort to please, and it all turns out wrong. You feel snubbed, unappreciated, hurt, and then pouty, angry, introverted, indignant, judgmental, then furious, livid, outraged and then on the verge of divorce -- all in about the first 20 minutes he gets home from work.

I have something to say that might sound absolutely insane.

Your spouse takes his anger out on you because he loves you.

That’s right.

You are his safe harbor. You love him no matter what. All that he can’t express out in the world he comes home to dump on you. It is not personal. (In fact, when people aim their negativity at us, it NEVER is -- wrap your brain around THAT.)

Because we are the closest to his heart, the dearest, the most precious, we are chosen to take the brunt of the pain he is feeling over his encounters out in the world.

Whoa. I know, I sound like a saint. But understanding this dynamic is so key to the health of any relationship.

if we absorb this insight, and apply it, our marital relationship will hum along with the most beautiful harmony.

Why?

Because that anger must be expended, and if we as women are strong enough to hold on to our truth -- that we KNOW we are loved, cared for, cherished and adored -- and that the junk spewing out of the man’s mouth who you’ve shared a home and a bed and a thousand meals with for whatever length of time is NOT BEING DIRECTED AT YOU PERSONALLY, forgiveness will be possible. Even beyond forgiveness; you will SKIP forgiveness entirely and move on to the moment at hand which may be a tender moment, a joking comment (AS IF HE HAD NO IDEA HOW HE HURT ME - can you hear yourself?), an embrace, a smile or a hot lovemaking session.

Except, none of this will occur if you are still back there in the hurt and anger and resentment of what transpired 20 minutes or 2 hours or a day or even a year or ten before.

Yes, we can hold onto it that long. It can poison us, and poison our marriage.

“I remember the time he....” and we confess to our girlfriends our almost-memorized litany of offenses. And every time we recount it, we feel the pain all over again. We open the wound, dig around in there and keep it live and putrefying.

WE DO IT TO OURSELVES.

We hurt ourselves. We HURT ourselves.

Let’s review:

1.) Our husbands anger is not directed at us, is not about us, it is not personal, and it is actually a sign of trust and comfort level. (Unless we have done something that is clearly an offense; but in this case, I am referring to what could be considered unfounded criticism, volatility, and general explosiveness.)

2.) We can choose to absorb the anger and take it personally or deflect it, reframe it, let it bounce -- planting ourselves firmly in our truth -- that our spouse loves us and this moment is passing and can be let go just like a breeze through the trees.

3.) If we hold on to it, we run the risk of missing out on all the good, loving, scrumptious moments that are in the waiting. We won’t be in the mood, we will reject any advances, and hang on to the justified nature of our anger and ultimately, return the anger magnified, causing the cycle to repeat itself and real pain to be inflicted.

4.) If we nurse our hurt, keeping an accounting, giving energy to the resentment with our thoughts, by retelling the stories of injustice, by mulling over the events “and then he said, and then I said...”, etc etc... we will set our relationship on a doomed path, be the enzyme that in the end breaks up our family and even end up with irreversible physical illness.

Our thoughts are powerful. Each one creates a new universe. I read a story once in a book called “Love Is Letting Go of Fear” by Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D. . He recounted a tale of a waitress in a restaurant, who came the table with a curled lip, an impatient attitude and proceeded to systematically ruin their dinner by providing a substandard service. He left a miserable tip, almost an insult and exited the restaurant with slight indigestion.

What he didn’t know is that the young girl had recently lost her husband, she was rearing young twins alone, far from her family and her boss had just threatened her with reducing her hours since business was slow, and she was 5 days late on her rent.

In the end we have no idea what our husband may be holding back; he may not want to share the difficulties that he’s faced during the day. Maybe home needs to be a safe haven, where he can expel his angry, frustrated energy and where you let it bounce.

"Bien comido, bien cogido"

Okay ladies, this is one you never learned in your high school Spanish class.

It is a phrase oft repeated in Spanish that has a universe of wisdom held within it:

"Bien comido, bien cogido"

“Well fed, well f***ed.”

Now, excuse my french, but I’m just repeating what I’ve heard. And with much trial and error have determined to be for the most part true.

Men are simple creatures. Visceral. Not much subtlety.

Like penises -- it’s all out there, no double meaning in their speech; no passive-aggressive behavior, no insinuations. They are easy to read. They are either hungry or horny.

If we paid acute attention to these sage words, 90% of all marital problems would be solved.

Women, however, are mutable, syrupy, an ocean of emotion, endlessly wanting and needing, seeking, longing and sometimes, whining, needling and nagging.

We don’t ask for what we want straight out. We hope and assume that our minds will be read. That if our man really loved us, he would be able to figure us out.

But if we take care of him, and choose that ephemeral moment of absolute contentment and bliss to express our deepest desires -- just after an orgasm or an orgasmic meal -- we will wont for nothing.

Too simple? I think not.

Put it to the test, let me know how it works out. At least for today, personally, my theory has been proven correct.

From the Mennonites...

Read this statement from the Mennonites... http://www.bibleviews.com/womanrole.html

I like it and agree with most of it.

I believe men and women are not meant to compete, but rather to fulfill and complement each other.

I don't think women are meant to teach men; rather women should teach other women and their children. (believe me, the guys aren't listening anyway...) silence is golden, and i have learned that if I keep my mouth shut 90% of the time, I will have done the right thing.

about the head covering... and the hair and clothes styles... that's still up for discussion...

examples of what is considered modest dress in a variety of social groups

i think long hair on women is a glorious and beautiful sign of femininity, but it's also sexy and manly on men. And Samson was not to cut his hair... hmmmmm.... also the Rastafarians look great with the long dreadlocks...

In Judaism, both men and women cover their heads in the synagogue and and only men wear a yarmulke all the time. These beliefs seem more cultural to me than spiritual.

The Muslim women cover themselves from head to toe.

I think a woman should be an absolute SLUT in the bedroom with her husband and go to town with the Victoria's Secret catalog; it is the best investment.

In public, though, a woman exposes herself to unwanted advances, looks and leers if she 'puts it all out there'. I think it's possible to be modest and sexy yet not provocative.

Any comments??

Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God

Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God

Laura M. Brotherson says:
"If Twilight-obsessed women would direct even half of their intimate and erotic energies towards their husbands and the real-life fantasy available to them, their marriage relationship would be greatly strengthened and become infinitely more satisfying."
I just sat down after a long busy day to unwind with the laptop. I turned it on and found this open in the browser:
http://www.ldsmag.com/familyconnections/100702twilight.html
It made me chuckle but the fact that my dear husband had read, and then decided to click on this headline amongst all of them in our in-box strikes me as significant. Food for thought... please share what you think.