The Power of Eve

I'm still here grappling with the issue of Eve in the garden and the meaning of the story of the origin of mankind. Most of you know how it goes -- Eve is tempted by the snake, partakes of the fruit from the tree of knowledge and then turns and offers it to Adam who could not resist.

The story comes from somewhere. And whether you believe it to be myth or fact, it is the creation story that a third of the world's population has heard and holds in the collective conscious.

What is the story's true meaning? What does it say about women? Should we hang our heads in collective shame? Are we really responsible for the fall of man, today, tomorrow and since the beginning of time? What are we to do about it? Flat out deny it? Or is there some nugget of truth that we should glean from the story while working on one of the Four Agreements and not taking it personally?

Upon further pondering, a universal truth that hit me was the fact that women's power to persuade men is not something to be taken lightly. Because we guard a hidden fruit (i.e. our sex) and men are driven instinctively to pursue it, their judgement can be easily clouded. When we whisper in a man's ear to influence his actions or choices, we are wielding great power and, as Spiderman's Uncle Ben once proclaimed, "with great power comes great responsibility".

Men are to follow the lead that comes to them from the Great Spirit directly. This comes to the gut, the Solar Plexus chakra, through the IGS as Zen DeBrucke calls it. It's a direct line and it works when a man knows how to listen intuitively.

Women are born intuitive. We "see" differently. We feel things deeply and are directly linked to our "gut" through monthly menstruation. Our bodies are linked to the phases of the moon when we are in sync. We are made to be at one with the Universe and ergo G-d/Source. So while we may have great knowledge and wisdom, we sometimes witness our men stumbling around in the darkness.

It is our inclination to step in and save them. Rescue them. Intervene and interfere. We have the fruit of knowledge and we want to them to have it, too.

Unfortunately, no one can "receive" it in that way from anyone else. And especially men, our men, cannot receive the light, the Word, the knowledge from Us. They must discover it on their own.

There is a famous and wonderful scene from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" in which the matriarch is lobbying for her daughter to take a course to become a travel agent. It is a long and winding conversation until at the end, the husband "independently" comes to the conclusion that it would be best for his daughter to take a travel course.

It is a hilarious scene and women all over the world can relate. Of course, the husband is viewed in a somewhat pathetic light. But the situation reinforces another line in the film -- "Men are the head of the family, but women are the neck."

We have to use our power of persuasion prudently. Judiciously. Cautiously. We need to have faith and trust the man in our life to make decisions for the benefit of the family. We have to be willing to travel alongside him, oftentimes down paths that seem unsure and downright wrong.

Not that it isn't sometimes indicated that we whisper a bit of truth into their ears. And sometimes it is absolutley required.

Our motives are what's at issue. Are we controlling due to our fear and lack of faith? Or are we being lead by the Creator to help our men see things from a different perspective. Again, just because we know the answer doesn't mean we are obliged to blurt it out.

We must give them the chance to learn ON THEIR OWN, so they can become men. If not, they are condemned to be boys forever, and we, moms.

Bleck. Who needs that?

"Bien comido, bien cogido"

Okay ladies, this is one you never learned in your high school Spanish class.

It is a phrase oft repeated in Spanish that has a universe of wisdom held within it:

"Bien comido, bien cogido"

“Well fed, well f***ed.”

Now, excuse my french, but I’m just repeating what I’ve heard. And with much trial and error have determined to be for the most part true.

Men are simple creatures. Visceral. Not much subtlety.

Like penises -- it’s all out there, no double meaning in their speech; no passive-aggressive behavior, no insinuations. They are easy to read. They are either hungry or horny.

If we paid acute attention to these sage words, 90% of all marital problems would be solved.

Women, however, are mutable, syrupy, an ocean of emotion, endlessly wanting and needing, seeking, longing and sometimes, whining, needling and nagging.

We don’t ask for what we want straight out. We hope and assume that our minds will be read. That if our man really loved us, he would be able to figure us out.

But if we take care of him, and choose that ephemeral moment of absolute contentment and bliss to express our deepest desires -- just after an orgasm or an orgasmic meal -- we will wont for nothing.

Too simple? I think not.

Put it to the test, let me know how it works out. At least for today, personally, my theory has been proven correct.

Five reasons I must do as my husband tells me...

1.) When two people try to row a boat, each in their own direction, it goes in circles or goes nowhere or sinks.

2.) Because humility and submission build strength of character and kill the ego, which is the goal of Buddhist practice as I understand it.

3.) Because faith without question in the male as head of the household injects him with the energy he needs to accomplish what is necessary. A man who is constantly questioned, made to explain himself or challenged will become frustrated, will doubt himself, will feel unsupported, and will inevitably falter.

4.) Because if I allow him to call the shots and firmly hold the reins, he also holds the responsibility and the accountability, which is infinitely more comfortable for me as wife. (here’s an aside; I had a running joke with at least three different spouses -- yes, I’ve been working on an honorary Elizabeth Taylor award -- whenever I would doubt him and almost inevitably find out he was right, I would repeat like a mantra, ‘I will never doubt you again’. And we would laugh. But now I realize, I would say it, but I would never mean it, because I was unwilling to let them --- the men --- lead. I was trained that men are untrustworthy, that they are incapable, that they will fail you, that it is better to be strong and independent and send them straight to hell if they don’t comply or behave -- thus the running string of unsuccessful relationships).

5.) It is divine order, the way things were meant to be. It’s not that woman can’t lead or call the shots, that we’re not strong enough or we’re too stupid NOOOOO! It’s that by design we were meant to be protected and cared for and when we are, when we truly feel shielded, that we have a man who would kill the bastard who touched a hair on our head, we can relax. We can lay down our weapons and our shield. We can live serenely and dedicate ourselves to loving and nurturing our spouse and our families. We are no longer in a fight or flight, adrenalin-pumped state. We can grow our hair and nails long. Create beautiful, comfortable homes. Focus on our children. Really be with them and listen to them and just hold them; not shove 5 minutes of quality time in at the end of a long day of battling it out at the office.

Talk about a topic that would be unpopular with the feminists. I repeat, I would never have dreamed in a gajillion years that I would write these words.

They come from repeated trial and error and from a scientific mind, an objective, analytical mind that had to admit after life beat the shit out of her in relationships, that something was out of balance.

By the way, I did try women.

But the answer to me balancing my overly masculine energy was not to pair up with a woman. The answer was to find a man who was man enough to be my man.

Finally.

ps.



I searched on 'obedience' in Google, and this cartoon about women trying to teach their husbands to obey was all I could come up with. May be a clue about the nature of relationships in today's world, and how obedience is a term that can only be applied to dogs and dominated husbands.